i just read my sister's blog and realised
how much family stuff i'm missing out on.
calvin's sports day, the pool table in the hall
(very weird concept), and so many new and
unexpected things happening in the house.

i guess i always thought things would be the same
and there wouldn't be any major changes you know?

but now i see the kids growing up and
it's a bit sad that i'm not a part of their lives at all.

):

the second question i get asked the most
(after 'are you from america?' grrr.)
is if i plan to go home after i graduate.

and for now, that's a resounding yes!

because i love it here but not enough to stay forever.

and because no matter what anyone says,
and no matter how terrible the political situation gets,
malaysia is still the best place to live in.

(:

half an hour to my anatomy exam.

and somehow, i'm so nervous i actually feel like throwing up.
maybe it's because we're all going in turns and
most of the class have finished so i'm sitting home alone
making myself more and more nervous.

i've taken so many exams but it never gets easier!

oh arrrgh i just looked outside the window
and it's raining like there's no tomorrow!
now i have to get changed again ):

my stomach is churning.
my heart feels like it's stuck in my throat
and that's not a great feeling.

eeeeeeek!
):

ARRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!

the next door neighbours are BLASTING OUT
FLIPPIN TECHNO MUSIC!!!

since 10 am this morning and now its 12.12am!!!
ARRRRRRRRRGH I NEED TO GO TO BED
BECAUSE I HAVE EXAMS OKAY>:(

i hate that my bed is right above their stupid noise.

yes i love techno BUT NOT WHEN ITS BEING BLASTED
ALL FLIPPIN DAY LONG WHEN I'M TRYING TO DO WORK!!
>:(


but of course, im too chicken to actually do anything
so i have to let some energy loose somewhere.

i'm super tired but i can't go to sleep
because somehow some people think that techno is
perfect nighttime music, especially in a neighbourhood
with 80% senior citizens who must be
lying awake in their beds thinking the same things i am.

i actually am so frustrated i'm going to cry.

at least i had a little cheering up earlier with
Britain's Got Talent, which is THE show at the moment
(:

i have to admit though, quite sadly that
i frequently find myself bursting into tears
because there are such great stories in the show
and i love it when they go on to do well
and their dreams come true :D

but yeah back to the dang neighbours.
very annoyed.
>:(

finished my first paper.

and wow.
my head hurts like crazy.

the combination of strong coffee
(which really doesn't wake me and gives me headaches
but i'm convinced that if i keep drinking, something will happen)
+ 5 hours of sleep+ 13 hour study days
culminated in a massive headache in the middle of the paper.

yeah.
not fun ):

and boy, those were pretty much the hardest
and wordiest 100 questions i've ever seen.

i'm ashamed to admit that i 'tembak'ed a couple,
something i haven't done since high school days.
sigh.

have a written one tomorrow,
which should be better but at this point,
work should be increasing 100X because
there is no way i'll pass if i do this badly!

i wish i was home!
):

What a blessed week.

In regards to my Nepali summer anyway,
I got another 100pounds by a random mission trust
which I've heard of but I don't remember writing a letter to,
which is REALLY awesome news and that means
my total raised is 1050 pounds,
which is TOTALLY beyond what i've dreamed of!
i'm paying for the rest myself,
and thankfully, it's a manageable amount!

i also have to bring balloons because the hospital
i'm going to be volunteering a couple mornings at
give out balloons and they're running out,
and yesterday work gave me hundreds and hundreds
of them for free, which will definitely
make A LOT of kids happy (:

and i finally watched Wolverine!
he's always been my favourite XMen
and i'm so happy he got his own movie (:

i kinda wished they showed the band of mutants more,
what an awesome cast there.

and yes, exams start in 4 days time.
that means revision pretty much 24/7 from now on,
which is such a depressing thought.
ah well ):

oh yes, and i also got my placements this week
for third year and i've been placed in a hospital
aout 40 mins away and i was a bit panicked at first
because it would've been impossible to get back
for CU every week because I would probably
have to live in halls there for 13 weeks,
but someone called up and offered me a lift everyday!

God is great (:

and last thing-
i've finished 2nd year uni!

i'm terrified.

So Nathan the laptop brokedown over the weekend
(always perfect timing!)
and Internetless weekends are never fun.
thank goodness for church and work and revision.
all very exciting stuff.

so i was working yesterday and a fight broke out
between two kids, and one was drunk.
very very wrong how kids about 15 are
hanging around town getting drunk on weekends.
very sad also
):

but yeah so a fight broke out and i was standing
next to this woman with her three children sitting near
where the fight was and i watched her turn around,
look in horror at the close proximity of her dear children
to the violence and watched her mummy instincts kick in.

it was seriously one of the most amazing things i've seen.

that lady who was totally unassuming and timidlooking
transformed into the fierce mother and with that
adrenaline rush, she sprinted towards her
innocent children and held them, standing between
her kids and the ridiculous pointless fight that was going on.

whoa.

i do miss the parents loads when i see things like this.

especially lately when exams are near
and there's no one to make me lotus root soup
to calm frayed nerves and no one to make sure
that routine things like laundry and stuff
are taken care of so that all i need to care about
is doing proper work! ):

exams are really making my head spin.

other than the constant stress i am under
(which is beyond what i expected)
i am turning into an emotional wreck as well.

yesterday i was watching Britain's Got Talent
and there was this little cute boy who got through
and he was so excited as he ran into his dad's arms
with a smile and bright as the sun.

and that was it.
i just burst into tears for no reason at all.

i am turning mental!

maybe it's time for some sleep ):