i'm back in sweaty hot malaysia.
((:

its good to be home.

so I woke up with vivid dreams of America.
and somehow, thoughts of camp have been occupying
a lot of my mind lately.
i miss it so much,
and i really really want to go back.

definitely the happiest three months of my life.
the exuberant smiles on those kids,
the amazing people around me.
i don't think i'll experience such total
contentment and joy in life again in a long time.
(:

but i think God has something else in store.
(i'm still working out the fine details,
but it's going horribly slowly.)

**

well im narrowing my list of new years resolution
to one main one- to be content.
i think i need to learn to be content in every situation,
to find joy in stressful periods,
to remind myself that there is so much more than this.

heard a song in church today that
will *hopefully* be a little verse that
i keep in mind throughout all the
interesting twists and turns this year.

All is well, with my soul.
He is God, in control.
I know not all His plans,
but I know I'm in His hand.

JohnnyParks- All is well.

(:

awesome.

**

i feel really weird and listless now.
i guess that's why i'm resorting to blogging.
the suddenness of having nothing to do is
hitting me pretty hard and i feel awkward.

i guess i'm not cut out for a jobless life then.
i'm biding my time until tuesday for OSCEs
(where i play doctor for 45 very harrowing minutes)
and then that's exam over!

maybe the listlessness is due to adam's absence,
because i've been spending all my waking time
studying with him for the past week,
it feels like i'm almost codependent on him.
(adam is my housemate btw, not a boyfriend.)

but yay he comes back tonight
and i will have human contact again!

**

alrighty, i have to go watch some videos
on how to examine patients now.
excitingness!

im *FREE*!

*jumps in joy*

well relatively anyway.
another one on Tuesday,
which requires minimal revision
so yeah, i am rocking it out by
catching up with TV shows.
(which i have abstained from since May)

i have mixed feelings about how the exams went
but all i can say is, that's a problem
for future sammie to deal with!
((:

and now,
back to ProjectRunway.

two days left.

its weird when you have nothing to do
except revise for two weeks,
makes you go a bit crazy.

i haven't stepped out of the house in ages,
and the highlight of my day today
was changing into a fresh set of pajamas
(i have worn nothing else for awhile now)

i know, i'm disgusting.

but yeah im so pumped with facts and stuff
but there's a niggling worry still that
i don't know enough/ there's so much work left.

i don't know- i'm really mentally worn out.

people say this is the hardest semester of all,
the fail rate is the highest out of 5 years.

it helps that i really enjoy what i'm studying.
well except that random module of medical statistics.
maths and i don't really get on very well.

so hey, two more days!
i'm going to make it (: