alright!!!
i made it through the next cut!
*i feel like a contestant on American Idol or something*
the hospital program was another stage to go through
and from there, the PSD people shortlisted summore people to go fo the interview..
and i made it! :)

the past three days have been .... indescribable
*as in aAaACcKkkk!!!!*
okay, i saw some VERY disturbing things, lots of sick people,
and LOADS of nerds.
*okaylar, so maybe i'm one of them*

the first thing i saw was..
a whole bunch of people looking like they were attending a wedding.
ALL the guys were wearing ties and long-sleeved shirts with *shinyshiny* shoes.
since most of the girls were Malays, they were all wearing baju kebayas,
and there i was looking so inferior and stupid >.<

after some looOong *yawn* speech that the Pengarah dude gave,
*which consisted of repeated warnings NOT to wander off and accidentally kill the sick*
WE FINALLY GOT TO GO...
...to the orthopedic clinic *cheh*
the very-congested-with-people-with-broken-legs place.
we were shuffled from room to room,
watching doctors diagnose the patients.
quite boringlar actually, except that
ALL the doctors told us about their hard lives and low salary :)

luckily the second day was WAAAY better.
cuz it was mortuary time! *yaaaay!*
wah, the smell of a decomposed body almost killed me.
the moment the guy opened the fridge right...
*BAM!* waves of the horrible smell hit me
and i resorted to breathing thru my mouth for the rest of the trip.
i saw one dead body la, not too scary
cuz the guy looked like he was sleeping naked *i only saw the upper half body laaa*
except that he had a long stitch down his chest
(where the medical officers opened up his body and took out all the organs and put them back)

then today i saw a very bloody placenta of a dead fetus.
gross right? i KNOW.
looks like a mass of bloody stomach or flattened brain.
*i think... i never actually saw either one before*
and THIS is the thing that women nowadays PUT ON THEIR FACES
apparently, it's good for your skin. *eeeech*

and and and.....
i saw this foot without the skin and the flesh so horribly exposed can see the bone!
*almost fainted*
the guy there summore laughing when he saw our faces.
crazy boy. not pain ah?!

my fellow applicants a bit scary la.
the whole time we were in the orthopedic ward
all of them were furiously scribbling who-knows-what in their thickthick notepads,
*i just pretended to look busy*
some studying FORM 6 textbooks
*hello, FORM 6 IS IN JUNE LA!!!*
AND saying stuff like
Girl 1: ' Is the pelvis broken?'
Girl 2: ' No no, i think it's the femur laa..'
Me : -.-"
summore this boy came and ask me
' how many A's you got ah?'
i was thinking *go and die la hmph!*

SHOWOFFS!

that's about it la.
I SURVIVED THREE DAYS IN VISUAL HELL!!
seriously, dont know if i can eat meat again.
:(

eeeechhh.
i shall post when i finish the whole program tomorrow.

meanwhile, people,
APPRECIATE your bodies please!
who cares if you're short or fat or look funny...
you're WAAAAAY better off than the people i saw.
trust me.
=)

"A total of 1808 from the 15,500 SPM top scorers who had applied for Public Services Department (PSD) medical scholarships, have been shortlisted to go through a 'shock treatment' at government hospitals.
The students will undergo a mandatory three-day stint from Wednesday at the hospitals, including going to the mortuary and operation theatre.
The scholarship hopefuls will also be taken to other critical units in hospitals like the accident and emergency unit, outpatient clinic, and maternity and orthopaedic wards."
(The Star, 27th March '06, Page 4)

EEEEK!

i think it'll be quite fun actually,
since i've never seen a dead body before (images on news don't count)
and i've never EVER been to a funeral *very underprivileged kid here*
so i have absolutely no contact with the dead.

according to my parents, i will have to stay overnight at the mortuary!!
*woooh!!* it'll be exactly like a scene from Shutter,
where the ghost-girl chases the dude around the hospital
until he finally jumps down from the balcony.

im secretly hoping it'll be more like Tru Calling though,
where i approach the dead body *preferably it'll be a cute guy la*
then he suddenly turns and whispers: 'Help me!'
and i suddenly find myself in the past trying to save him from dying =)

im a sick sick girl. =)

but anyway, wish me luck.
hopefully i'll survive and get the scholarship la!

eeyer
i hate being so clueless on tech-stuff.
WILL SOMEONE TEACH ME HOW TO USE VIDEORA IPOD CONVERTER?!!!
or how to convert videos into the iPod, for that matter.

after wasting SEVEN hours online trying to install the program onto the com,
(no thanks to a dial-up connection)
after successfully installing it..
i have absolutely no idea how to use it.

i know there's a convert button and all there,
but i've tried and tried and NOTHING works.

what a loser :(

*urgh*
i received a letter yesterday from the Public Service Department (PSD) people
asking me to go for this hospital placement program thing...
which is compulsary if i want to be one of the
shortlisted candidates to receive the PSD scholarship.

what's running through my mind right now?
dark hospital corridors lighted by dim flourescent lights,
zombie-like nurses pushing the squeaky trolleys in the dead of the night,
doctors in grimy white lab coats administering lethal injections to coma patients,
wards full of people suffering horrific bloody burns all over their faces and bodies....

*bleh*

okay, so i won't make such a good doctor after all..

no more driving test.
they canceled me!!

*hmph*

oh i forgot.

IM TAKING DRIVING TEST ON MONDAY!!!

*bleh*

sure fail one.

my mum wanted to buy me U Zap.

she says that i diet too much and she wants to buy me U Zap
so that i will eat normally again.
means im fat la!
*hmph*

thank you ah -.-"

i seriously dont know what to do now.
went to the counsellor's just now,
and they told me i got the maximum scholarship that anyone offers..
and if i take the Aussie one confirmed got place in Uni dee..
Medicine summore!!!
but the thing is...
it costs about RM 40000!

And i already paid Taylor's RM 8875,
together with the Taylor's scholarship i got
i will only have to pay RM 6000++

the UK one is impossible though,
the price is about RM 100000.
BUT i get to do A Levels,
and after i do that i can leave UK if i dont like it.
the Aussie one im stuck there forever!!
i WOULD prefer UK so much more though..

if i continue in Taylor's and all,
the chances of getting into a good uni for Medicine is SUPER LOW.

and its not like i have much time to decide.
i have THREE MORE WEEKS before the course starts..
AND i still dont know what it is exactly i wanna do..
Media or Medicine?!!!

ARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH!!!

i just got accepted.

i received scholarships from both:
-Bradford College in Adelaide to study Foundation for Medicine
-Bellerby's College in England to study A Levels

both courses start in less than a month...

how now?!

have you ever had bubbling boiling aluminium mixed with NaOH (which is boiling hot btw)
spill all over your hands before?

clumsy me has :(

i forgot that we were supposed to put only a little of aluminium and very little of NaOH.
so i happily went and put a whole lot of aluminium and two whole droppers full of NaOH...
then i suddenly felt a hot drop of liquid on my hand,
and the NEXT thing i knew, the whole boiling tube bubbled over with
BOILING HOT solution scalding my beautiful hands :(
summore i knew i couldnt let it go cuz i didnt wanna break the boiling tube
and pay (i have absolutely NO money now) so i held on to it tightly
*quite stupid la actually*
now my fingers are peeling like mad and feel super raw.

VERY clever, samantha tan.

to go or not to go??
what to choose?!
what about money?!

haiyer i feel so frustrated. and lost.

guess everything's going to be decided in a week's time.
*sigh*

i was looking at Superstars that day..
and i realised the tag says: Superstar
and somewhere below that is: Ean.
so it says: Superstar Ean!
:)

so now im looking for Superstar Nathans.

I am...

... bored.
... listening to Backstreet Boys (they will forever be better than N'Sync. so there!).
... waiting for the stupid thing to load so i can finish my Bio lab report :(
... wanting an iPod so i can tune out the BORINGEST person alive, my psychology lecturer.
... not worrying about tomorrow as much as i should be.
... downloading One Tree Hill soundtracks.
... wondering what to wear tomorrow.
... wanting to eat sushi but cannot since i am trying to see how long i can last as a vegan :)
... wanting nice nice grey Chuck Taylors *i am hopefully getting them tmr. yay!*
... craving to go SHOPPING.
... wanting to see what happens next in OTH. everyone! you HAVE to watch s3 episode 16!!!
... hoping Chris wins American Idol.
... missing peanut butter. 3 weeks never eat already!! *grrrr*

*bleh*. so cranky now :(

SAKITLA!

very smartly i went and electrocuted myself.
i dont know what is wrong with me la
i unconsciously try to kill myself ALL the time..
pouring acid la, electrocute la..
maybe i just dont want to face Black Monday.
13th summore!
*im not superstitious btw*
stupid la, only 1% of the students got straight A's.
*sigh*

whatever happens, happens.
it's up to you God :)

argh.
just dreamt that i got all D's and F's for my SPM results
except for Chinese which i got A1.
:(



im sick!!

roshan from K Town Clan =) 

its phat fabes! 

adam c. (he just joined Hitz) and i 

ooh i *heart* j.lo! 

us with reshmonu 

me and joycethefairy!! 

me and the morning crew =) 

me and EAN!!! eaneaneaneaneaneaneanean!! :) 

andy (Hitz.tv) and i!  

im baaaccck!! :)
malacca was AMAZING, seriously.
summore i got to take pics with the all of the Hitz crew...
and EAN!!!!! (i heart heart heart heart ean!)
*im so happy. im going to keep that pic in my wallet forever!*
summore we got to go backstage and i saw Joycethefairy!!!
amazingly i couldnt feel any muscles aching throughout the night
even though we were standing there n jumping up and down for about 8 hrs ;)
but now... if i try squatting i think my legs will collapse :(
the performances were realllly good (aaaah! i *heart* jason lo!)
considering they were M'sian bands *i AM super impressed*
and the moffatts (two of them anyway) performed as well :)
screamed so much my voice is a half-whisper
(i sound HOOOOT!)

anyways pics tell the story better so i'll upload 'em soon!

p.s. thanks Kimberly + her bf for fetching us around and the twins for letting us stay+bringing us around Malacca!

p.p.s. i got dodol. who want?

OH.MY.COW.

cheer practice on Friday totally killed me.
right after school it was rushrushrush and i didnt get to eat
AND i didnt have water :(
so after a little while i was totally wiped out *bleh*
and the whole time i felt like vomiting only.
so much for being fit :(