What A Year.

2007 is almost over.
finally.
what an emotional rollercoaster.

i have to say, this is *definitely*
the year in which i grew up the most.
here it is from my point of view.

it started with getting my AS results
and then the frenzy of studying massive
amounts of pointless information for A2 exams.
the whole period of wakingupat3am to cram
PLUS the continuous nagging doubt on
whether studying Psychology was right
and then debating on studying Medicine,
then finally putting EXTRA pressure to
get the results i needed for QUB to consider me.

*phew*

i never really told anyone this,
but i guess the magical moment was during
my excruciatingly terrible CNY when
i had a huge row with my dad which
ultimately ended in him not allowing me
to go to the Muse concert FOR FREE >:(
and i love love love Muse okay.

anyways we were driving out of KLCC
and i was watching a lot of Scrubs at that time
i just somehow knew that Medicine was
somehow right and i turned to look out
the window and the fireworks suddenly
exploded in the night sky which i sorta
imagined to be an affirmation from God.
(don't laugh!)

so i became a recluse for the next 4 months,
which i guess made a lot of people unhappy
but hey, i really needed that time.

i guess what made it worse was that
my very emo 'i want to be all alone' phase
lasted well through my exams.

but during those few months
i really got used to being alone and
doing everything by myself which has
really been extremely handy in Belfast
because i'm alone 90% of the time.

and then came ResultsTime when i was in HK,
but when i called Taylors the next day
i burst out in hysterical uncontrollable tears.
yeah, you may say 'isn't that enough?!'
but when you've stayed in the library everyday
just to do maths for 3 hours and then
doing every sum in both textbooks twiceover
AND still didn't get an A, would you cry?

but luckily exactly one week later
i got the call telling me that i've been accepted.

then came The Visa Controversy.
due to the late acceptance letter,
i could only get it done 2-3 weeks before
i was supposed to leave.

but then those stupid idiots read the
bank statement wrongly and rejected me
on the basis that i don't have enough
money to see me through med school.
so that was my MerdekaDay and
MORE crying ensued ):

after lots of string pulling,
many many calls to EvilSpawn,
and i think almost 24 hours of waiting
in that depressing visa place,
i finally got it and my parents booked my
flight for 3 days later which explained
why i didn't get to say goodbye to anyone,
and that everything was really abrupt.

and on that last day i spent it with
the best of people (:
ho+joey came over to watch Will&Grace
and eat my favorite noodles EVER,
and at that time, 6 hours before the flight
i was still packing and trying to fit
my clothes into that measly 30kg limit.

then came the teary goodbye at KLIA
which i must thank you all for coming (:
a 13hour flight, 7hour transit and
another 1hour flight later,
i reached my home for the next 5
(or more) years, Belfast.

i've never even heard of the place before
i looked for late medschool alternatives,
and it really shows 'cause i'm the only
international student that chose Belfast
in medicine cause everyone else is fr. JPA.

(oh yeah, and the only international people
are from Malaysia, everyone else is from
neighbouring towns and schools so
everyone kinda knows one another already.
this explains the lack of friends.)

it wasn't as hard as everyone says it would be
and i wasn't actually homesick but it
did take a lot of getting used to all the
crazy walking to anywhere i wanted to,
the freakishly thick accent of Belfast ppl
(Londoners tell me that if i can understand
anyone from Belfast, i can understand everyone),
the super biting cold, always being the only Asian,
and of course, multiplying everything by 7.

i guess Belfast was totally different from
what i expected and i do wish that there
were more Msians here but then again,
we would all probably get into a group
and never talk to the Irish people at all,
which defeats the purpose of coming here.

i've lowered my expectations a lot since
i've been here and i think i'm a lot happier.
sometimes i have days where i don't get
to talk to anyone at all and spend the whole
day alone just wandering about and exploring,
which has moulded me into a more secure,
more aware, and independent person
who can (i hope) make the right decisions.

i'm glad to say that i have no regrets this year.
i have had excellent friends who understood
that i really needed time alone all year,
but yet was still there whenever i needed.
and i really cherish the crazy things we did
(driving round and round to get GC tickets,
roadtrips, Singapore shopping, Sunday lunches,
Friday afternoon movies after college etc etc).

let's hope the next year brings about
happier times, less doubt,
and definitely more maturity.

so thanks to you who made a great impact
on my life in 2007, youknowwhoyouare.

so my NewYear's resolution is
to try to be happy in everything i do and
always keep low expectations.

here's to an excellent New Year to you.
(: